N

NAPPY
DIAPER.  The word is actually short for napkin.  (See SERVIETTE)

NEARSIDE (Car)
PASSENGER SIDE.  That is the side nearest the sidewalk. (See KERB, OFFSIDE, PAVEMENT)

NEAT (Drink)
STRAIGHT [UP].  (See MALT WHISKY)

NEEDLE MATCH
GRUDGE MATCH.

NETBALL
A type of BASKETBALL game which is played by women, in which no dribbling is allowed, there is no backboard and only a couple of designated “shooters” are allowed to shoot for a basket.  It is much more of a contact sport than you would ever believe!

NET CURTAINS
SHEERS.

[STINGING] NETTLE
Nettles are the only plants in the UK that can cause an irritating rash.  Their effect is much milder than that of poison ivy or poison oak -- neither of which grow in the UK -- and much shorter lasting.  The country person’s cure is to crush a DOCK LEAF and rub this on the affected area.  Calamine lotion will help in persistent cases, but the rash has usually gone in a matter of hours.  Supposedly if you grasp the nettle boldly you can yank it out of the ground with no ill effects -- indeed, I saw my grandfather do this on many occasions.  Feel free to try it if you will!  From this fact comes the expression GRASP THE NETTLE, which means GO FOR IT; if you have something difficult to do, do it boldly rather than timidly.  On the whole the British countryside is very benign.  There is only one type of poisonous snake, the ADDER, and the chances of your coming across one are remote.  There are no poisonous spiders.  MIDGES, mosquitoes and other biting flies can be a nuisance at times, especially in Scotland in the early summer, but should not be considered a real hazard.  If you sit on a RED-ANTS’ nest you’ll soon know about it.  Otherwise the main nuisance is from yellow-jackets which will make their presence known at any summer picnic.  (See WASP)

NEVER-NEVER
See HIRE PURCHASE.

NHS or NATIONAL HEALTH SERVICE.
This is a much maligned service, but it provides nearly sixty million Britons with effective health coverage, at zero out-of-pocket cost, and most important of all -- with no paperwork!

NICK (Place) (Slang)
Slang term for POLICE STATION.

NICK (Form) (Slang)
SHAPE, as in “That car’s in pretty good nick for its age”.

NICK(Verb) (Slang)
STEAL.

NIL
ZERO.  Especially in a sports score.

999 (Phone number)
911.  The emergency number for Police, Fire or Ambulance.  In speech it is referred to as “Nine-Nine-Nine”, not “Nine Hundred Ninety-Nine”.  This is probably a suitable place to mention that Britons always insert the word “and” between the “hundred” and the “ten” terms of a number.  For example, “Two hundred and fifty-six”, never “two hundred fifty-six”.  By the way, Nine-eleven used to refer to the terrorist attacks on the US is better described as September the Eleventh.  Britons, like many other parts of the world, put the date first, followed by the month.  Nine-eleven would mean the 9th of November to a Briton.

NIPPER (Slang)
SMALL CHILD.

NIPPY (Car, etc)
FAST.

NIPPY (Weather)
COLD or CHILLY.

NISSEN HUT
QUONSET [HUT].

No.
This is the preferred abbreviation for “Number”.  Britons do not use the hash or pound sign (#) for this purpose.

NOSEY PARKER
BUSYBODY.

NOT BY A LONG CHALK
NOT BY A LONG SHOT.

NOTE (Money)
BILL. You have a Dollar bill, but a Pound note.

NOUGHT
ZERO.

NOUGHTS AND CROSSES
TIC-TAC-TOE.

NUMBER PLATE (Vehicle)
REGISTRATION PLATE.

O

OATMEAL
Coarse ground oats, not rolled oats. (See PORAGE or PORRIDGE)

OCHE
There are many strange and obscure words that are associated with British sports and pastimes (see CRICKET for example).  You are unlikely to come across the majority of them, but should you be invited to join in a game of DARTS down the pub, this is one that might stump you.  It is the name for the line behind which you must stand when you make your throw, and is pronounced “ock’-ee”.

OFFAL
ORGAN MEATS such as HEARTS, LIGHTS (Lungs), LIVER, KIDNEYS, TRIPE, etc.

OFF LICENCE
LIQUOR STORE.  So called because it has a license to sell alcoholic beverages for drinking only off the premises. Note the spelling of license.

OFFSIDE (Car)
DRIVER’S SIDE.  That is the side furthest from the sidewalk. (See also KERB, NEARSIDE, PAVEMENT)

OGEN MELON
CANTALOUPE.  Or its close cousin.

OIL OF ULAY
OIL OF OLAY.

OLD BOYS or OLD GIRLS
ALUMNI.

OLD CROCK
HISTORIC CAR, or, disparagingly, any old car in a bad state of repair.
In Britain historic cars are divided into two classes.  VINTAGE cars are those built between 1917 and 1930.  VETERAN cars are those manufactured prior to this.  Strictly speaking a VETERAN car is one made in 1905 or earlier.
Every year a Veteran Car Run is held between London and Brighton, over a distance of about fifty miles.  This is known affectionately as “The Old Crocks’ Run”.

OLD LADY (Slang)
MOTHER or WIFE.

OLD LADY OF THREADNEEDLE STREET
See BANK OF ENGLAND.

OLD MAN (Slang)
FATHER or HUSBAND.

ON THE CARDS
IN THE CARDS.

ONE (Person)
Indefinite third person singular, as in “One should always take off one’s hat on entering somebody’s house”.  Among the upper classes it is often used in the first person singular, as in “One does find these occasions rather a bore”.

OO-ER or OO-EER
Expressions of surprise or perhaps incredulity, pronounced “oo ur’ “ or “oo eer’ “.  Probably a corruption of “Oh Lord!”.

ORDNANCE SURVEY or OS
The government office responsible for printing topographical maps.
The most popular of these is the 1:50,000 series, about 1¼ inches to the mile, which give excellent detail if you are exploring a small area by car or even on foot.
For more general touring over a larger area such as Wales or the English Lake District, choose the 1:250,000 series, about ¼ inch to the mile.

OVERTAKE (Vehicle)
PASS.   In the UK, the equivalent to the sign “DO NOT PASS” is “NO OVERTAKING”.

OWN GOAL
Literally this refers to a soccer player kicking the ball into his own goal instead of the opponents’ goal.  Figuratively it has come to mean doing something that unintentionally harms your own interests.  Similar to shooting yourself in the foot.

OXBRIDGE
This is a fabricated word combining OXFORD and CAMBRIDGE, the two top universities in the country.  Somebody described as an Oxbridge graduate is being credited as having had a top-notch education.

OXFORD ENGLISH
See BBC ENGLISH.

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